shinysparks: (destruction and mayhem)
shinysparks ([personal profile] shinysparks) wrote in [community profile] bbc_robinhood2013-06-24 03:31 am

Fic: Tension

Title: Tension
Author: [personal profile] shinysparks
Rating: PG-13
Character/s: Robin, Archer, Guy
Pairing: hints at Guy/Robin
Summary: Archer brings up the unresolved sexual tension between Guy and Robin.
Warnings: Crack!
Word Count: 273
Disclaimer: I don't own or make money off of this, I just torment the characters for cheap laughs, bla-di-bla-di-bla...
Author's Notes: Thanks to the lovely [personal profile] thymelady for betaing this drabble. <3

“You know, they say when two men lust after the same woman, it’s usually a way to cover the fact that they’re secretly in love with each other.” Said Archer, smirking, as he and his two brothers rode through the forest together. “Tell me, brothers: do you harbor secret desires about shagging each other furiously?”

Both Guy and Robin’s eye’s bugged out of their heads, and their mouths dropped open wide. Guy blushed furiously, while all of the color drained out of Robin’s face.

“I mean, I’ve seen the way the two of you argue and fight. Bitter enemies my arse; you two quarrel like an old married couple. The unresolved sexual tension is so thick I could practically cut it with a knife. I keep expecting you two to start ripping off each other’s clothes and pawing at each other like two dogs in heat!”

Robin froze in horror, and Guy’s eye started twitching furiously.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, of course. Love is love, as far as I’m concerned; and trust me, you won’t believe the kinds of kinky things I’ve seen in my travels - and been a part of, myself!” Archer said, grinning. “In fact, I have helpful books, lubricant and a few necessary accoutrements for sale if you’re interested! I’ll even give you a family discount - two percent off!”

Laughing, Archer took off riding, leaving his two brothers behind, still staring in shock.

“I can be quick, Robin,” Guy finally whispered, almost pleadingly. “Quick, quiet, accidental-like... I even know a few places where we can stash the body.”

Robin sighed.

“Don’t tempt me, Gisborne. Don’t tempt me.”
lonespark: Toph in Dai Li uniform (Toph)

[personal profile] lonespark 2013-06-24 01:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Ahahahaha!
Ha!
Archer, you're my new favorite. I like the way he says things other people might be thinking but are clearly aware should not be spoken aloud.

they say when two men lust after the same woman, it’s usually a way to cover the fact that they’re secretly in love with each other
They? Us? Slashers?

Family discount? That's where I really, totally, completely lost it.

And I can't help but think Marian might be...curious, and maybe eventually enthusiastic. It would solve her problem with choosing... (Well, sort of. Assuming Guy is already on Team Outlaw.)
lonespark: Toph in Dai Li uniform (Toph)

[personal profile] lonespark 2013-06-25 11:36 am (UTC)(link)
...one of the BEST characters ever!

Oooh, nice crack!ship icon. I could go for it. (More easily than Guy/Meg, too, but that's mostly because Meg+Isabella forever...)
Edited 2013-06-25 11:37 (UTC)
lonespark: (Default)

[personal profile] lonespark 2013-07-02 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I almost wrote a Guy/Marian/Robin fic once. Not sure why I didn't go through with it, actually. Hmmm...

I am sure it would be brilliant and I would enjoy it, crack or otherwise.
jadey36: (Default)

[personal profile] jadey36 2013-06-24 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
hee, hee! I agree with lonespark, your Archer is a scream.
melsheartsthings: (Default)

[personal profile] melsheartsthings 2013-06-25 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
Oooh, Archer! Archer! Just stop..... You're creating a very dangerous situation for yourself here, boyo.
melsheartsthings: (Default)

[personal profile] melsheartsthings 2013-06-25 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Of course he did.... But this was a very DANGEROUS way to do it....
melsheartsthings: (Default)

[personal profile] melsheartsthings 2013-06-25 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
True. Now I can just so easily picture him up on some stump in Sherwood going, 'Danger? I laugh in the face of Danger! Haha haha!' Like Cub Simba in TLK I...

Oh, do it!!! DO IT!
lonespark: (Default)

[personal profile] lonespark 2013-06-25 11:40 am (UTC)(link)
*suddenly has the idea to have Archer write RPF slash about Guy and Robs...*

Do it, oh please!

I am a huge fan of this kind of thing. In a lot fandoms there's a character who normally writes, so you can picture that person writing about the others, either because they 'ship them or because they've learned members of the public do and they'd like to make some dough under a pseudonym. I don't think of anyone who fits that bill in RH, really, so Archer is a good choice.

(Are there, like, minstrel characters? If not, we should invent them. Some kind of After-Hours Bawdy Minstrel Revue? I guess the Fool is vaguely related...)
lonespark: (Default)

[personal profile] lonespark 2013-06-25 11:44 am (UTC)(link)
And I loooove that icon. And the experience it represents, for all that RA makes me feel really inferior when I read to my kids.
wintercealde: ([robin hood] much: duck)

[personal profile] wintercealde 2013-06-25 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee! I love how Archer keeps going blithely along, unaware of how close he is to danger : D