shinysparks: (Behind You!)
shinysparks ([personal profile] shinysparks) wrote in [community profile] bbc_robinhood2013-07-18 04:32 pm

Fic: Curses!

Title: Curses!
Author: [personal profile] shinysparks
Prompt: #08; genius
Rating: PG-13 (mild profanity)
Character/s: Guy, Robin, Archer, Matilda
Summary: Guy gets turned into a cat and becomes a bit... purrsnickety.
Warnings: Crack. Just... epic crack.
Word Count: 634
Disclaimer: I don't own or make money off of this, I just torment the characters for cheap laughs, bla-di-bla-di-bla...
Author's note: Thanks to the lovely [personal profile] thymelady for helping to inspire this! <3 This will probably turn into a series...

“WILL YOU STOP LAUGHING!” Guy bellowed, pawing at Archer, who was cackling so hard he could barely breathe. He then turned and shot Robin, who sat next to Archer, an evil stare. “THIS IS NOT THE LEAST BIT AMUSING!”
“Don’t you mean ‘a-mew-sing?’” Archer joked, trying hard to catch his breath.

Robin burst out in a fit of laughter so hard he fell out of his chair, causing Guy to jump straight up off of the table he stood on, hissing and spitting. He landed on his furry, white paws a moment later, the jet black fur on his back standing on end. Robin and Archer laughed harder.

“That was pawsitvely hilarious!” Archer said, poking at Guy’s long, fluffy tail.

“STOP THAT!” He cried, pawing at Archer again - this time with his claws out. “You’re supposed to be helping me!”
“Now, now, brother... no need to get so... catty.” Archer replied, earning him another hiss.
“Besides, we did try to help you, Gisborne.” Robin said, recovering enough to push himself off of the floor. “Did I not tell you it might be a bad idea to mouth off to poor Matilda? Especially after what you and the Sheriff did to her last year?”

Guy sat there, eyeing the outlaw evilly.

“Yes, but I didn’t know she was actually a witch!” Guy hissed. “How was I to know she’d curse me and turn me into a... a... cat?!”
“Maybe because you got hammered on cheap wine and kept making comments that she smelled worse than a horse’s arse?!”
“Oh come on, Robin! There’s no way you didn’t smell her! Woman’s not had a proper bath in at least a decade!”
“Yes, but we’ve been over this before! You don’t tell people that! You just sit there, smile and politely nod until they leave!”
“You know, purrtend.” Added Archer, smirking.

Guy hissed again, slapping at his younger brother with his claws out.

“You just think you’re so smart, don’t you?”

Archer grinned from ear to ear.

Purrhaps.” He said, chuckling.
“ARGH!” Yelled Guy, before giving off a loud mrow!
“Honestly, Gisborne, it won’t be so bad! Matilda said that the curse would wear off once you performed one good, kind deed as penance.” Robin said, still trying to stifle his laughter. “On the other hand, that might be kinda difficult... at least for you.”

Guy meowed again.

“But... but... I don’t want to be a... a...”
...Pussy?” Archer added, cackling.

“RRRAWR!” Guy roared at him, his fur on his back standing on end and his fuzzy tail standing straight up. He leapt off the table, claws out and still roaring as he attached himself onto Archer’s face.

“GET HIM OFF ME! ROBIN!” Archer screamed at his brother as he fought to detach Guy from his bleeding, scratched face.

Ever brave, Robin grabbed onto Guy’s furry tail, yanking it harshly and quickly realizing what a very bad idea it had been, indeed. Guy roared again, twisting himself around furiously in mid-air and dug his claws into Robin’s forearm. He bit into the outlaw’s leather gauntlets deeply, managing to draw blood, and then roughly scratched him repeatedly with his back paws.

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Screamed Robin, batting his bleeding arm up and down, trying to shake Guy off.

Unfazed, Guy quickly shot up Robin’s arm, clawing his way up Robin’s shoulder and onto his face.

“DIE HAMSTER! DIE!” Guy yelled, meowing all the while as he mauled Robin’s chin.

“YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE BACK INTO A MAN THIS WAY, GISBORNE!” Robin screamed at him, flailing like mad.

jadey36: (Default)

[personal profile] jadey36 2013-07-19 03:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Purrfectly funny, my dear.

Off to the next one...